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Wednesday, October 22nd
Christine at Mike's place in Taipei 
"Going absolutely mad in Taipei..." On the one hand, things have been progressing rather nicely on the ORIENTED front, finally. On the other hand, I have been feeling particularly LOST on an emotional level. Got home after 11 p.m., said hello to Mike who was working on his computer in his home office, and then... I proceeded to have a *bleep!* FIT.
"Mike! I don't have a home..."
"I am the ultimate Gypsy Queen!"
"I don't belong anywhere."
"Nor do I belong to anyone!"
"I am forever... the VISITOR."
"Because I don't have my own life!"
"I am just a visitor... in OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES!"
"All I have is this... this... this ORIENTED thing!"
"And what in the hell is THAT?!"
"What..... the HELL..... am I doing?!"
"Here I am, rushing to leave Taipei, but WHERE exactly am I GOING?"
"How much LONGER must I LIVE like this?!"
"I need... I need....... well I don't KNOW what I need!"
"Mike! Please tell me what I should DO!" And this just went on and on and on for the next hour and a half. Either Mike and I have been watching too many episodes of Friends or the both of us are just WEIRD people in that way but honestly, the stuff we say and how we say it could literally be script right out of that television sitcom! Sigh............ I will save my readers the gory details, other than to say that Mike is a really great friend to have listened to me go off like that for as long as I did. He always knows what to say and how to be supportive when I really need him to be, like telling me I'm EXTRAORDINARY when I'm convinced that I'm ABNORMAL. It's friends like Mike that help to keep me sane, or at least as sane as one can be in my shoes and with the life I currently lead. Mike rounded off the evening by showing me photos from his college days, and this particular picture of him during his junior year made me feel so much better about everything that he has given me permission to post it up in my journals to mark the occasion.
The deal is that one day, we are both supposed to look back on this moment and laugh. Right now, however, I just want to feel a little more grounded than I currently do, as I really need my own home so that I can go home to it. Someone please save me... Because...
I really need to be saved...
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