My sleep schedule is all messed up. Oh well.

I woke up thinking about Plan A (building my "small business" in Greater China) and Plan B (starting a new stage in my life in the bay area) and how much I really really really wanted BOTH. And then I thought, you greedy little b*tch. Surely there must be some ancient Chinese saying about the fallacies of the pure act of 'wanting'. Wouldn't we all be happier if we just didn't WANT anything?

Hey I studied Taoism in school okay.

I'm still going for both, though.

I must be very greedy crazy.

But heck, I know many people that have done it. There's no reason why I can't.

Plus... what else am I going to do?

On the otherhand, I was chatting with a girlfriend earlier on and was asking her if we (me, her, our friends, etc.) were EVER going to be "OK" in our careers/lives, and HOW it was remotely possible for people, such as us two, to work so HARD and yet not seem to get anywhere!

It's one thing if we were lazy, or stupid, or both. But what does it say about all of us in general when everyone is struggling like this? My run through the bay area last week was equally depressing in this regard, talking with so many intelligent, competent people who are now unemployed or worried about being so.

It is our "ming"? The recession? OSAMA perhaps?!

Where is that caveman anyway?! Argh!!

Obviously it doesn't help to delve into such thoughts. Back to the old "who moved my cheese" theme. But one thing is for sure. I really hope that one day I can look back at this particular journal entry and laugh.

I'm not necessarily PESSIMISTIC at the moment so much as I am reflective, as personally I've still got my own "Plan A" and "Plan B" to be all worked up about.

But still.

I'd like to hear some good news, sooner than later, for other people's sakes, especially for those in the United States of America.

Know what I mean?

Anyway... I've gotten myself on a regular schedule of getting up in the morning and going for a run in the neighborhood. And, when I get back to the house, I actually drink a glass of orange juice. How... weird.

In the meantime, aside from hanging out with the folks and getting some much needed rest, I've been making the final adjustments to my financials based on both Nelson's and Ginny's most recent feedback.

It's GREAT to get input from friends first before I actually go and pitch the idea, but given how long I've been working on this document, sometimes... it's just downright depressing. :( And yet... I still insist on seeing it through. No more changes after this though.

Time to just roll with it.

The good news is, I've learned a great deal. And Nelson's review, given how much fundraising activity he's done for iScribe, has been a big BONUS. Too bad I can't post the spreadsheets that he put together, because even though the cells are all set to ZERO for now (um, he's waiting for me to finalize the raw data, sigh... my fault), looking at the overall layout gets my juices flowing.

It's looking good. Very professional.

And very logical.

I'd like to be done with this stage before my birthday... is that too much to ask?

I think I need some professional cheerleaders right about now.

Christine rushes to add "cheerleaders" under "other expenses" in her business plan... somebody help her... she's showing signs of abnormal behavior...


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