How could I not mention her in my journals. The Romeo Must Die CD was pretty much the only one I listened to during all of last year. I'm still in shock. Aaliyah was by far my most favorite female artist, as a singer and as a person with such a promising future... I still can't believe she is gone.

Ranting and raving on HeyChristine.com

I was going to rant about all the reasons why I've not been inspired to write lately, but I don't suppose such a perspective is justified, given the above. On the other hand... I NEED A GOOD RANT. So here it goes.

Sometimes, I really do wonder what in the HECK I have been doing for the past 6.5 years out here in Taipei. I was prompted to update my resume lately, and in so doing I realized that -- I DON'T KNOW what I'm doing. All these "entrepreneurial" endeavors, at the end of the day, what does it really mean? What am I doing?!

One of the hardest things about trying to strike out on your own is that you get pretty much ZERO affirmation that you are on the right track. When you work for a company, you get a thank you, a raise, a promotion. Something that tells you that your hard work is recognized and that somehow, you are worth something.

But when you attempt to do your own thing, all you have is what is before you, and if that doesn't amount IMMEDIATELY to real dollars, i.e., tangibly quantifiable positive returns to the U.S. dollar, sometimes, you feel like one big loser. A zero.

I don't normally need a pat on the back to keep going at it, but every now and then -- when I could really use a good session with someone who understands what I go through -- I just don't have that support network over here. Not really. And sometimes, the biggest critics are those closest to home.

Maybe I'm just burning out.

I'm sure I'll snap out of it soon enough, and hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I'll look back at this most unusually self-deprecating entry and have a good laugh. Regardless, one thing is for sure. Whatever it is I am doing is definitely building character.

What kind of character --> I have no idea.


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