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Monday, June 11th

Random, funny things...

Wennie and I were talking about the party on Saturday and how the music being played can really make or break the club scene. They were playing techno until she and I finally went up to the VJ and requested that he please "slow it down baby". Only then did people start piling onto the dance floor and gettin' jiggy with it. Bottom line is, there are really only two types of popular club music. Hip hop, for those who have rhythm. Techno... for those who don't.

Enough said.

Shake It Baby!

Photo of Beetlenut Paul and me at VS from a few months ago (photo credits: Acer Ginny)

Another friend of mine whom I won't name here just got back from attending his best friend's wedding. In this case, his best friend is a woman. Given the circumstances, she asked him to be the Maid of Honor, to which he agreed. And yes, he had to plan her bridal shower oh I mean BACHELORETTE party and hold her train down the aisle. He wouldn't let me reveal his true identity, but many of my site visitors know who he is. LOL!

A loyal fan of mine wrote in today and asked me to post some pictures of myself upside down. I thought it was an interesting enough request, so I honored it below. Surely there must be some ancient Chinese saying equivalent to "Posting Pictures of Yourself Upside Down on Your Website Will Bring Both You and Your Website Bad Luck". Oh well.

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My friend Jim, "depantsing" his friend Alan.

Over the weekend, I learned something about Jim that I never knew before. He likes to pull other people's pants down. Specifically --> that of other men. I was thankful that no one was around when I read the following correspondence between Jim, his friend Alan, and myself.
I was laughing so hard that I started HYPERVENTILATING. Introducing Jim and Alan:

Jim introduced Alan and me to each other via email. Alan needed some information about this side of the world and had followed up with a very serious business-like email about what he was looking for but then switched gears out of NO WHERE with this:

In closing, I just want to say that Jim is a dork. He's like the little brother I've never had (or wanted). I can't take him anywhere. I still remember when we went to *****'s wedding in Boston a few years back. We all stayed at the same hotel and Jim thought I was using the telephone in the hall way, so he pulled my shorts down. Well........ the problem was, it wasn't me. It was some poor stranger trying to use the phone. The scary part was, the dude fell in love with Jim.

Jim had a few words to say about that:

I do not deny depanting a total stranger who bore a striking resemblance to you. I do not deny the look of horror that I had when our eyes met and I realized this was someone who was a complete stranger - going about his own business. I do not deny running from the hotel authorities who chased me down the hall after that incident. And I do not deny yelling at you for not being at the phone booth when this happened. It was an honest mistake which could have happened to anyone.

So then I wrote to both of them:

Alan, Jim, I think if I just didn't say anything and let the two of you "tell it like it was" that I would find your communique most amusing... thanks for the laughs!

And soon after...

...Gotta love inside jokes and did you get my other email in which I indicated that unless you tell me otherwise that I am going to POST UP YOUR PANTS STORY
ON MY SITE? ROFL!!!

For the record, Jim gave me the Inside Scoop:

It's a classic story that my college buddies and I share with each other all the time. It was at my friend *****'s wedding (the first of us to get hitched). We all played lacrosse together and it was a very common joke that we'd play on each other during practices.
During line drills, if Al was in front of me expecting to receive a pass, I'd casually sneak up behind him and yell at the top of my lungs, "Yo check me out!" and pull his shorts down. Always good for some laughs. It got to the point that he'd tie his shorts up so farking tight that we'd be unable to depants him during practices so we'd have to find more non-conspicuous times to depants him... like walking to class where we could catch him off guard.
So 3 years later at *****'s wedding we were all staying at this hotel and I just wanted to relive old times. I walked into the lobby of the hotel and saw this guy who I thought was Al talking away at a public phone wearing a pair of umbros. I also saw my college buddies Rob and Uly who were hanging out in the lobby also. I looked at them (I was a bit tipsy), smiled, and then yelled at the top of my lungs, "Yo Check Me Out!" and then d-pantsed the guy who I thought was Al.
The guy never knew what hit him.
I immediately realized my error when I saw the look on my friends faces... their jaws were dropped. I looked at the hotel desk clerk His jaw was dropped. Then I knew it wasn't Al. I looked up at my new friend that knew that I had committed a grievious offense. Not knowing what else to do, I ran for my life winding through 3-4 hotel corridors with hotel security nipping at my heels.
Finally I reached my hotel room where Al was also staying. Out of breath (I ran pretty damn fast), this one hotel cop sputtered to me, "You.... you... you... you... need to go to bed right now!" to that I answered, "Yes sir, I'm very sorry sir." and ran into the room only to see Al lounging on the bed watching TV. I cursed at him and illogically demanded to know why he wasn't at the phone booth making a call. He was a bit bewildered but accepted the blame most graciously.
To this day, everything that happened is Al's fault.
We did a lot of other #&*%! that night (like blew up the air conditioner in the hotel room). Luckily Al was a smooth talker and got us upgraded into a master suite. I don't know how he did this as I barely remember that night. My first wedding. Ah. Memories.
Feel free to post. However, I hope that guy who I de-pantsed doesn't read it. I'm genuinely sorry about that. That would suck if that happened to me.

NOTE: I will pay the first person who successfully "d-pantses" Jim. ROFL!

Jim's latest response to the above posting:

So I see u posted my story. It was pretty funny reading it. I can't believe you used that fat bloated pic of me (Al intentionally sent u a bad one). I think to capture the moment, this pic is more appropriate (victorious Jim scoring a goal = victorious Jim pulling down Al's pants)

Last but not least... for all you single women out there who are reading this, you must know that Jim is probably one of *the* coolest and most eligible bachelors that I know out there in the bay area. Next time you see him, be sure to ummm... PULL HIS PANTS DOWN FOR ME AND TELL HIM I SAID HELLO!

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